It's A Fun Hot-Bitch Mom Revolution

Lisa Loree - The Rebel Ballerina, In The Wild  

 

I wanted to leave the planet.

I was in a really, really bad place before I even discovered what was behind all of this. My life as a single mom had become unbearable, and I saw no way out.

That dark moment became the catalyst for what would eventually become the Fun Hot-Bitch Mom Experience - a 90-day program designed to help single moms prevent getting to such a desperate place.

What I discovered through my own journey is that single mothers today face extraordinary pressures. The statistics confirm what many of us feel: depression is three times more prevalent among single mothers, affecting 33% compared to just 8% of married mothers, according to Crown Counseling.

But what's really behind this epidemic of struggling single moms?

The Fawn Response: The Hidden Pattern Keeping Single Moms Stuck

Most single moms I work with have never heard of the "fawn response." I hadn't either until I hit rock bottom.

The fawn response is a trauma response characterized by consistently abandoning your own needs to serve others in order to avoid conflict, criticism, or disapproval. It's a survival mechanism many of us developed in childhood.

Some people turn into fighters when threatened. Some freeze. Some flee. And then there are those of us who fawn.

We try to keep the peace. We make things nice and smooth. We put ourselves last to please everybody else as a way to feel safe.

Sound familiar?

For single moms, this pattern becomes particularly destructive. We're already giving constantly to our children. When we add in the fawn response, we end up completely depleted.

Who's filling us back up? Who's giving to us?

The most common misconception single moms have about self-care is that it's selfish to do anything for themselves. That they must put everyone else ahead of their own needs.

This keeps us trapped in an unhealthy pattern of giving, giving, giving. But the real answer for every single person is: it's our own responsibility to fill ourselves back up.

Yes, even as a single mom.

The Four Pillars: Why They Must Work Together

Through my decade-long journey of recovery, I discovered four essential pillars that create transformation: diet, exercise, stress management, and sleep.

Here's what makes my approach different: these pillars are deeply interconnected.

I originally tackled these areas one at a time, which is why my transformation took nearly 10 years. You don't have that kind of time.

When you improve your diet, you sleep better. When you sleep better, you manage stress more effectively. When you manage stress, you make better food choices and have energy to exercise.

The overlap creates a compounding effect that accelerates transformation.

Pillar One: Strategic Diet for Mental Clarity

When our single moms learn how to eat better, transformations happen rapidly.

Typically, fawns eat a lot of processed convenience foods because they're quick and easy. We've been in a pattern of not taking care of ourselves for so long that we don't care if we're eating healthy, just as long as the kids get fed and it's 'affordable'.

And guess what? The kids often adopt the same eating patterns.

Better nutrition creates a clearer mind and less frazzled feeling. With mental clarity comes the ability to stand up for yourself.  At first glance it seems to be more costly to eat healthy.  But, I've found that in the long run it's waaaaaay cheaper!

It doesn't hurt that there's usually some short term weight loss too. This builds confidence and self-value, making it easier to set boundaries.

Pillar Two: Movement as Medicine

I know how overwhelmed and time-constrained single moms are. Our program isn't about training for marathons.

We start with atomic habits - tiny actions that build momentum with small consistent wins. Maybe it's a five-minute walk. Maybe it's dancing to your favorite song while making dinner.

One client simply checked in at the gym, scanned her QR code, sat for a few minutes checking emails, then left. Over time, that checking-in habit naturally evolved into actual exercise.  The atomic habit (credit: James Clear) was just showing up every day, even for a minute.  This simple, doable activity became a habit that blossomed into a consistent 30 minutes a day exercise routien.  She lost her goal of 50 pounds and has kept it off for several years now.  Perfect!

Regular exercise releases feel-good endorphins that counteract the stress hormones accumulating in a single mother's body, according to Redeemer Health.

These small "raindrops" of movement collect into a reservoir of confidence, feeding back into your ability to make better decisions and stand up for yourself.

Pillar Three: Proactive Stress Management

One specific practice we teach is our "Grow Some...Antlers Boot Camp."

We take the negative phrases our moms have heard repeatedly - their personal mental playlist - and throw them back loudly, like a drill sergeant.

Why? To help them learn how to stay calm in the face of confrontation.

We teach breathing techniques, mini-meditations, and mental games that prepare them for moments when someone pushes back against their new boundaries.

Instead of cowering, they now have tools and techniques to stay strong and a supportive community for guidance, encouragement and accountability.

We do exercises that naturally help prioritize activities.  For example, we do a deep dive on where their dopamine hits are coming from.  Dopamine is a 'feel good' drug that our bodies make when exposed to certain stimuli. This is a common 'incentive' designed in by the makers of these platforms when using social media, tv, eating, or watching movies to get you to come back, watch longer, and engage more.  It's pretty effective and we can find ourselves spending a ton of time there because it feels good.  

When we understand where our feel good hits are coming from we can begin to make decisions about our entertainment and coping choices.  We find many single moms are spending a lot of time scrolling, tv watching, eating, or other mindless activity as coping strategies.  Reducing (not eliminating) the time doing these and making better choices each day is just one of many ways we encourage in our program that frees up valuable time for achieving their Fun Hot-Bitch Mom Life.

This also builds on earlier work in our Rebel Mind Rewire process, where they reconnect with their value and dreams, understanding why they developed the fawn response in the first place.

Pillar Four: Intentional Sleep Hygiene

Sleep is the foundation that makes everything else possible.

Most single moms I work with are chronically sleep-deprived. They stay up late for "me time" after the kids are in bed, scrolling social media or watching TV.

But this creates a vicious cycle. Poor sleep leads to poor food choices, no energy for movement, and heightened stress responses.

We teach specific sleep rituals that improve both quality and quantity of rest. This creates a cascade of positive effects across all other pillars.

The Financial Freedom Paradox

When I talk about investing time in self-care, single moms often respond, "I don't have time for that!"

Here's the paradox: self-care isn't about doing more. It's about the art of being.

When you incorporate even small moments of self-care, you maintain a higher energy state. In those higher states, serendipities happen. Better people show up in your life. Great ideas come to you.

This ripples out to include better finances. New opportunities appear that you never knew existed. Sometimes it's monetizing something you love, so you're not really working - you're just getting paid for living your dream.

Even our two minutes of gratitude practice can have huge implications for attracting better circumstances.  This is a powerful aspect of our program.

From Cursing to Grateful: My Transformation

My own story remains the most dramatic transformation I've witnessed.

My biggest struggle was wanting to be here at all. I didn't have anything to live for. My sister reminded me it would devastate my kids if I removed myself and left the planet.

That slowed me down, but it didn't provide a real reason to live. I was deeply depressed.

Going through these same four pillars literally changed everything. Now, instead of cursing when I wake up, I'm excited about living!

I experience joy and gratitude. I'm grateful when my eyes open that I get another chance to live fully as me, doing what I love while helping others.

Building Your Protective Community

Transformation doesn't end after 90 days. Our moms gain a new community through the program - connections with others who understand their journey.

I also offer a year-long deeper dive for those who want to continue their growth. This small mentorship group even travels together several times a year, combining our work with actual fun.

One of these trips is always a shopping event for our "From Frumpy to Fabulous Celebration" - because external transformation often follows internal change.

The Ripple Effect

When a single mom transforms, everyone around her benefits.

Her children witness the change and participate in it. They learn healthier patterns by watching her prioritize well-being.

According to PsychCentral, recovery from the fawn response focuses on increasing awareness of emotions, validating personal needs, and developing healthy boundaries - skills that benefit the entire family system.

This isn't just about more information. It's about experiencing transformation and actually living it.

Everyone gets to live a better life - mom, kids, and the community around them - because this is a whole life approach.

Are You Ready to Rebel?

The Fun Hot-Bitch Mom Experience isn't for everyone. The bold language indicates we're not messing around.

If you want dynamic change in your life, this program is for you. If you're just kind of seeing what's out there, maybe not.

This experience is designed to get results, which requires a willingness to do what it takes. There are many aspects pointing out changes that need to be made.

What's the point of doing anything if you're not really willing to change?

As Einstein said, insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. If you're not willing to change, nothing will change - and you'll remain in the same lousy situation or pattern.

But if you're ready to break free from the fawn response, reclaim your power through the four pillars we've incorporated into the nine steps of the program, and create the life you deserve, the Fun Hot-Bitch Mom Experience might be exactly what you need.

I created this program because I don't want anyone to have to feel the way I was feeling. That dark place where I wanted to leave the planet.

Instead, I want you to wake up excited about your life, confident in your boundaries, and surrounded by a community that lifts you up.

Because when single moms thrive, everyone benefits.